Mind-dumbing

I hate the impossible lateness in the evening… the one that falls between the time at which you should have gone to sleep and the time at which you actually do. I call it impossible because it feels endless–the wakefulness, I mean. Why, brain, why don’t you just give it a rest? I reluctantly avoid coffee after 5pm. Half of my homework and readings are dull and tedious (dare I say, mind numbing). What keeps me awake?

It’s this BRIGHT FUCKING computer screen. It has to be. It’s this MacBook Air with Big Bro peering at me from behind that goddam camera and that horrible German Shepherd puppy wallpaper tormenting me from my Desktop. All of the access to all of the things keeps me firing impulses until kingdom come. I’m not even sure I know what “tired” feels like anymore – I know EXHAUSTED and FATIGUED, from lack of sleep. I think I eventually fall asleep purely because I have class in the morning. 

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Mind-dumbing

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