A Virile Iced-Tea

Turn to your co-workers, kids, Facebook friends, family — anyone who’s accessible — and ask them to suggest an article, an adjective, and a noun. There’s your post title!

Made my boyfriend give me these three out of order. No surprise.

Somehow, I believe the only truly virile iced beverage would have to be the Arnold Palmer. It is named after a man, for goodness sake. Masculinity does not dwell within its iced-tea and lemonade components, but in its epic reputation amongst mankind, and not womankind. Rarely do you hear a woman request that sugary monstrosity of a Southern drink. Its sweetness is nothing like that of chocolate, a woman’s best friend; rather, Arnold Palmer brandishes the wands of sweet and sour, confusing the shit out of the female taste bud set. But men, who enjoy every flavor from dog treats to Cheetos, wash down their kibbels with a preferred Arnold Palmer. 

Arnold Palmer, the golfer. Just look at this shit.

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What is more virile than swinging a golf club? Swinging a bat?

And these cans… these cans! They can deceive a man into thinking he is chugging down sweet, sweet beer.

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A Virile Iced-Tea

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